Remembering Megan

A dear friend of mine, much more a sister than a friend, passed away a few years ago. Megan coped with manageable health problems much of her life but nothing prepared her friends and family for a diagnosis of lung cancer in 2004. She did not smoke. She was a young, beautiful, funny, vivacious woman. Eight months after the diagnosis she slipped away. I'm not sure any of us have really recovered, least of all her family. Paul and I considered naming Charlotte for Megan (Margaret was her given name), but in the end I needed to look into my baby's eyes without feeling that ache.

When Charlotte was born, her mother Robin sent us a dress that had been Meg's. I tucked it safely in the closet. Perhaps in the spring she'd wear it, when she was bigger. A month later I began shopping for a dress for Charlie to wear at Christmas. I came up empty. I thought it odd, but decided there would be no special outfit for her for the holiday. We had no big parties planned. There was no real need. Then on Christmas Eve I looked at our pretty tree and declared we would take a family photo. But what would Charlotte wear? I'd screwed up. Into her closet I went, and there it was, as if planned, Megan's lovely red and white dress. It fit perfectly. Megan was with us again, sharing our first family Christmas. It felt so right. Coincidence? Maybe....